Positive Change: What we all desire, but struggle to achieve
(Especially when it comes to health!)
(This one’s a little longer - grab a drink!)
The idea of becoming a better version of yourself everyday is both empowering and addicting. From losing a few pounds to running a marathon, having the ability to put our minds to a task and eventually achieving it is no doubt one of the best feelings in the world.
So, positive change. Easier said than done. How do we get there?
Goal and purpose:
Before committing to change, we should understand why.
Why do we want to lose weight? Do we simply want to be healthier? Is it for a performance goal? Do we want to be in better control of our body and not be in pain? Do we want to look good in front of the mirror?
Reflect on why you want to change, and set goals that can help you get there.
It’s of utmost importance that we’re honest with ourselves when it comes to goal setting: if we can’t be honest, it will be very difficult to keep ourselves accountable throughout our journey towards change (and it’s usually a long one! Lifelong!)
Observation
Referencing habit experts across the internet, an adult makes roughly an average of 33,000 to 35,000 decisions a day. The number itself isn’t that important, but the takeaway is that there are a lot of decisions, and a lot of these decisions are made subconsciously under auto-pilot. It’s easy to miss these decisions if we’re not consciously observing ourselves.
We start with observation to get a better picture of who we are, and to identify existing trends: “good” habits that are aligned with the person you want to be, and “bad” habits that deviate from what you are working towards.
In this observation period:
Try to give yourself at least a week, and act as normal as possible. If we’re on our best behavior this week, it defeats the purpose.
During the week, keep in mind that what we’re trying to do is understand a little bit more about ourselves. It might be demoralizing, but try your best to record it as is, judgment free. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
Remember that who you were in the week won’t change no matter how you choose to perceive it, but at the same time - it doesn’t have to represent who you are now either. We may still be way off from our ideal self, but that’s why we’re here!
Analyzing what we’ve observed:
Let’s reflect on what we’ve recorded in the week of observation.
Good habits (habits that are in line with who you want to be):
Was there difficulty in reinforcing good habits?
What situation were you in that made it difficult for you to stick to your habits?
Bad habits (habits that deviate from who you want to be):
Over the past week, what were some habits that you want to change?
Planning
This is where we add in our goals and rearrange our existing habits.
The beginning of your journey to healthy living almost always seems like a chore, because it’s commonly perceived as a “loss of freedom”.
If you want to be healthy, you’ll have to stop eating x, y, and z.
But I love eating x, y, and z!
If you want to build muscle, you’ll have to go to the gym x amount of times every week.
But I love my free time! Work’s overwhelming! I’m already short on me-time!
Reframing the plan: a Jigsaw Puzzle?
I like to believe that nothing is inherently “off-limits”. You are your own person, and what you value and aim for in your health journey is completely up to you.
But understand that:
Since we have a finite amount of time, energy, and appetite (caloric intake), adding something to our puzzle usually means we’ll have to reduce, or take something out (opportunity cost!)
The sum of the decisions you make and the actions you take shapes who you are, and the path you’re on
For my health, I like to picture two imaginary jigsaw puzzles that I would have to fill for myself weekly:
One for time, 24 hours a day for 7 days a week
(including work and sleep!)
One for food, usually 3 meals a day, 7 times a week
How do these jigsaw puzzles work?
The two puzzles represent my schedule - everything I do and eat. They are a culmination of all the good and bad habits that make up my week. If my goal was to maintain weight, the caloric total of the 21 meals I’ve had for the week should add up to equal my weekly caloric expenditure.
Activities that take up more time, or foods that are more calorically dense would thus represent bigger puzzle pieces.
Jigsaw #1: Small change
If your goal is only to get stronger by working out 2 times a week, you’ll get stronger if you stick to it.
As long as the 2 pieces of “working out” are present in your jigsaw, you’ll have achieved your goal. These are your essential pieces. Change would be much easier, since the majority of your existing habit pieces won’t be affected. In fact, you can probably just rearrange your board, such as getting home later after work to accommodate for the 2 extra workouts a week without losing existing habit pieces.
Jigsaw #2: Sizable change
But what if your goal was something more specific, like losing x amount of weight in y amount of time, all the while looking leaner and healthier?
As mentioned in another article of mine on losing weight, weight loss goals are often much harder than expected for most people. This is often a result of a mismatch between the change an individual is willing to partake in, versus the actual change that was required of them.
Here’s what it would look like:
Border shrinks
When we’re working with a caloric deficit for weight loss, the borders of your jigsaw shrink; the amount of pieces you can fit in there naturally reduces.
Exercise and gaining muscle
Building muscle isn’t a must for weight loss, but it’s definitely beneficial and synergistic.
In fact, gaining muscle is like a triple threat:
We want to look leaner and more muscular as one of our goals.
Working out burns calories, allowing us to widen our jigsaw border just a little (not by a lot, but it still counts!)
Your daily caloric expenditure increases just by having more muscle too, as muscles require calories (proteins) for upkeep. This will help in our weight loss goals.
Eating sufficient protein to build muscles
As mentioned, maintaining or building muscle mass is synergistic to our goals – we want that.
To build muscle efficiently, we’ll have to eat enough protein. That takes up space in our jigsaw too. Space within shrinks.
Favorite Foods (commonly known as cheat meals)
Is pizza inherently wrong to consume? Of course not - we’re here to enjoy life, and if you’re a big fan of pizza, what’s the point of being healthy if you’re miserable?
In this example, we believe pizza to be an essential piece. We put it down as “necessary”. If we were to include “3 slices of pizza” in our jigsaw, space within shrinks again.
So what are we left with?
A smaller jigsaw for food than before with the following essential pieces: “weekly protein goals”, “pizza”
A normal jigsaw for time in a week with the following essential pieces “2 exercise sessions per week”
That’s the change we’re aiming for; not too difficult, right? As long as we’re willing to say no to the parts of our life that we deem “non-essential”, or second to our goals.
The Struggle
This is where the feeling of a “loss of freedom” comes in:
Let’s say for our new jigsaw for calorie intake this week, we have already filled 80% of it by Friday due to a night out for pizza with friends (accidentally had a few beers too… I don’t know how that happened). Am I willing to skip a BBQ dinner with friends on Saturday to stay within my jigsaw?
Moving forward, rather than a feeling of helplessness of having to skip dinner with friends - could we have planned our week better so we can still accommodate for a night out on Saturday? Maybe skip the ramen lunch with colleagues where you otherwise would’ve eaten a salad?
Reaching your goals boils down to prioritizing: the bigger your goals, the more you’ll have to prioritize; and the simpler your goals, the less you’ll have to change.
And there’s no one way to reach your goals.
If you’re not a fan of chicken breast, pick something else! The replacement pieces will take up slightly more space (fattier cuts of meat contain more calories), but you can always work around that by prioritizing elsewhere.
Change is a very personal endeavor.
In my opinion, the most important part to change is to understanding why you want to change, what motivates you, and finding a method of change that works for you.
When assembling your schedule, whether it’s for food or activities, make sure you start with the essential pieces. Then, put in the good habits that align with your goals. As mentioned in our pizza example, even “unhealthy foods” can be a good habit for you. Value derived from food goes beyond just calories in and calories out. But as your list of whitelisted “unhealthy foods” grows in variety and frequency, so does the difficulty of staying on track.
Everything else that isn't essential or does not align with your goals can make its way into your schedule after, if you still have the space for it.
It’s a process of trial and error, and you’ll be making mistakes.
“Planning is useful, but plans are pretty useless” - my dad
Even if you come up with the perfect jigsaw, life has a way of consistently handing you lemons. Coming up with habits and goals for positive change is a never-ending process of fine tuning and adapting.
With a handful of lemons, I look forward to seeing all the creative ways you can make your next great lemon-flavored masterpiece!
That being said, if you're feeling the love and would like to make a kind donation to fuel my rather large amount of caffeine intake, you can buy me a coffee here.
My content here is free, so a donation of any amount would mean the world to me as it gives me the confidence that what I’m doing is making a difference!
